Little Pieces of Me

OK, there is no easy way to say this, so I'll just spit it out: Going back to work after being on sabbatical totally sucked. Was it worth it? Completely. Even with the beginning and end transitions being so hard. Did I learn stuff. Of course. Plenty of new skills and improvements in process and quality. But the most important things I learned were quantum lessons . You know, the hugely tiny things that change how you think. I can sum these up in 3 points: 1) Apparently I do exist outside my job - after 25 years I wasn't really sure. 2) Apparently the program can run without me, albeit due to the strong curriculum and a great group of part time folks who filled in for me. 3) And because of points 1 and 2, I will retire the minute I qualify for a full pension. This last point came as a big surprise to me. I love my job (OK I didn't love it at all for the first month or so going back) and I really enjoy the teaching, the students and my colleagues. But I now know ...

Wow, it's been a couple weeks since I last posted. It's been a busy time! I've been out and about a lot - seeing the World Of Threads Festival shows in Oakville and Toronto, going to the ROM to see the new textile show "Big" and enjoying some (finally) nice autumn weather. But in-between the outings I have been working hard at the sewing machine. So here it is (drum roll) - my first garment of the sabbatical. I'm very pleased with how this jacket turned out! It took a rather long time to make but the process has been totally worth it. Inspiration I've always been attracted to the modular design patterns by Kayla Kennington . And always quite intimidated too! Kayla's patterns are all built of simple geometric shapes which makes them easy, but they are not sewn with traditional seams. Instead the pattern pieces are all finished with rolled hems, finely served edges or lined and turned. And then the pieces are connected by decorative stitchin...

Really, after all these years, I should have expected week six. A little panicky yesterday. You see, it's week six of my sabbatical. In the big picture of things I guess 6 weeks isn't much, but I can't help but feel that I have not been pushing myself hard enough creatively. It is too easy to get caught up in the everyday chores and routines, and put off the making. Somehow I used to manage to do most things and work full time, so there is no excuse really. I just know that washing clothes is much easier than designing clothes. This week six anxiety is exactly what I usually see in my students! Week six is a marker - just a week off of mid term - and the point at which the enormity of what they have gotten themselves into hits home. The adrenaline of starting the program has worn off, and the heavy load of the work to be done becomes clear. The break week helps them catch their breath and then the same thing happens again around week 10. I mustn't forget about this!...

Week 2 of my sabbatical has been long and tough. It has also been a good learning experience in the end. The little voice in my head that says "What? You mean you haven't got a finished project to show at the end of the day? What have you been doing with your time? Don't you feel guilty?" was pretty loud this week. Like most people I know, my entire professional life has been about achieving outcomes with a known final deliverable and deadline. My days and weeks have been measured by hitting clearly defined milestones along the road to that deliverable. So to suddenly be on a not-so clearly marked road is a bit surprising and very disconcerting. I am really struggling with trying to change my ingrained 'have-to' thinking into 'want-to' thinking. It's going to take a while for me to easily allow myself the time for mucking about and accepting the non-linear nature of the creative process. Wait, isn't that the entire point of this undertaki...

Considering that I started the whole sabbatical ball rolling about 10 months ago and was granted it way back in the spring, you'd think that I would have a good handle on the whole thing. But you'd be wrong. I haven't really been able to wrap my head around the concept at all. It is so alien . I can't remember a time when I wasn't working or going to school or both. Between being a student and being a teacher, I've had more than 40 first days of school in my life so far. How could I possibly imagine a September that didn't include that important event? And suddenly my sabbatical is here. All the plans and people needed to make the Web Design program great this year are in place. The lab is full of new computers. The class is ready to roll. My office is tidy for pete's sake. I'm thinking my work there is done for now. I plan to be posting at least once a month – about what I'm up to and what I'm making. Feel free to drop by and have a lo...